2017 finished as being one of the most life changing years with the birth of my twin boys. Now as we enter a new year and think about all the things we want to do differently in this new year to come I find myself struggling to come up with those so called “resolutions”. You see the thing is that 2018 is going to be a completely different year than anything I have ever experienced. There are things that will be coming up this year that completely scare me, along with things that I am excited about. This year is not just about bettering myself, but about bettering my children, and my family. Even as I write this there is a fear settling in, and the thought “what if I fail?” “What if I can’t do this?”
So right here and right now I am making my New Years Resolutions (the ones listed above):
A NEW PATTERN OF THOUGHTS– Being a mom is hard, there is no doubt about that! Someone shared an article with me titled :Dear Mama: You’re not doing it wrong, it’s just that hard.” And so, when days are tough and all I feel like doing is keeping my babies from crying, and not getting any cleaning done, I know that it’s ok, it’s not my fault, I didn’t do anything wrong, it’s just THAT hard! The good thing is I, along with every other Mama out there (the ones who came before and the ones who will come after) have and will survive!
A NEW WAVE OF EMOTIONS– Simply put, being a mom changes your world. It changes your thoughts, your goals, and it definitely changes your emotions. I have always been a fairly sensitive person, add the sleep deprivation, and hormones to this and look out! The last 3 months have been a learning curve as I deal with my new outlook on life and the new emotions it brings. Surely by the end of 2018 I will have a handle on this, at least Joel is praying I do!
A NEW CONNECTION TO THE WORLD– Again, when you become a mom or a parent your whole world changes. Before my connection to the world was selfish, it was all about my needs, or what I wanted to do, or what my husband and I wanted to do. Now, even though my babies are little, it’s all about them. They are my connection to the world. With friends we talk about their babies and my babies, when we plan an outing- we plan it around the babies schedule. This is our life now. Sometimes we have to take a step back and reevaluate our plans because what once worked for our family before isn’t the best option anymore. For example, on Sundays we would always get groceries after church, and now after church we need to get home quickly because the babies need to eat- grocery day, which Joel and I used to tackle together, has now become a one man job. In 2018 we will find things to do as a family of four, and adjust our routines to suit our needs,
A NEW BELIEF SYSTEM IN MYSELF- Over the last few years with all the changes to our family I have learned that I am a lot stronger than I realized- I think we are all a lot stronger than we realize when it comes down to it. This year I know I am going to be faced with some challenges that really push this strength even further. Being a Military wife I know there is going to come a time when my husband has to go away. Before it was just myself and two dogs taking these times day by day, and there were some very hard and lonely days. Now I am going to have to face this being a mom of twins and being so far away from family at the same time. Deep deep down I know I can do it, and I know I will survive every day (even the hard ones). I know there will be tears and there will be days where I don’t get out of my pyjamas or even take a shower, but I know I have the strength. In 2018, I will come face to face with this reality and the only thing that I can think to say is… BRING IT!
So, to 2017, thank you for being a year that changed my life forever and the year that made me become a mom to two precious little boys. 2018, ready or not, you are here and I look forward to your challenges!